BEST GREAT JOKE 07 jokes on funny videos jokes quotes yo mama humor knock knock racist dirty pranks in hindi chuck norris of the day for kids santa banta adult blonde hilarious Mexican tell me a joke bad momma good and kids jokes
A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please
describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain
suspicions as to your wife's fidelity."
"Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally
when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife." "One Sunday morning," he continued,
"we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making when the old lady in the
apartment next door pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all
that racket on the weekends?'
By Claytrip
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the
students, pointing out some of the rules, saying, "The
female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male
students, and the male dormitory to the female students.
Anyone caught breaking this rule once will be fined $50."
He continued, "Anyone caught breaking this rule a second
time will be fined $150. Being caught a third time will
incur a hefty fine of $400. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, "How
much for a season pass?"
Drunk Talk
Two old drunks were drinking in the pub together, when the first one says:
"You know, Mick, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with
both hands. When I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried
really hard.
By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem. I'm 60
next week and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand."
"So," says the second drunk, "What's your point?"
"The point is, I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm going to get."
By Stancloski55
Forgetful Actor
There was once a great actor who could no longer remember his lines.
After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him
a chance to shine again.
The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line.
You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You hold the rose to
your nose with just one finger and thumb, sniff the rose deeply and then say the
line 'Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress.'"
The actor is thrilled. All day long before the play he's practicing his line
over and over again.
Finally, the time came. The curtain went up, the actor walked onto the stage,
and with great passion delivered the line, "Ah, the sweet aroma of my mistress."
The theatre erupted, the audience was screaming with laughter and the director
was steaming!
"You bloody fool!" he cried, "You have ruined me!"
The actor was bewildered, "What happened, did I forget my line?"
"No!" screamed the director. "You forgot the rose!"
By Steve
Gossip
Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town's morals, publicly accused her
neighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parked
outside the town's only bar.
George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, he
parked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.
By Steve
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