BEST GREAT JOKE 03 jokes on math black people joks double meaning comedy irish dumb science best knock knock husband wife in urdu about men funny clean punjabi santa banta hindi rude sardar jokes practical silly english joking little johnny jewish mama inappropriate and clean funny jokes
An extraordinarily handsome man decided he had the God-given responsibility to
marry the perfect woman so they could produce children beyond comparison. With
that as his mission he began searching for the perfect woman. After a diligent,
but fruitless, search up and down the east coast, he started to head west.
Shortly thereafter he met a farmer who had three stunning, gorgeous daughters
that positively took his breath away. So he explained his mission to the farmer,
asking for permission to marry one of them.
The farmer simply replied, "They're all looking to get married, so you came to
the right place. Look them over and select the one you want." The man dated the
first daughter. The next day the farmer asked for the man's opinion.
"Well," said the man, " She's just a weeeeee bit, not that you can hardly
notice, but pigeon-toed."
The farmer nodded and suggested the man date one of the other girls. So the man
went out with the second daughter. The next day, the farmer again asked how
things went.
"Well," the man replied, "She's just a weeeee bit, not that you can hardly tell,
cross-eyed."
The farmer nodded and suggested he date the third girl to see if things might be
better. So he did. The next morning the man rushed in exclaiming, "She's
perfect, just perfect! She's the one I want to marry!" So they were wed right
away.
Months later the baby was born. When the man visited nursery he was horrified:
the baby was the ugliest, most pathetic human you can imagine. He rushed to his
father-in-law asking how such a thing could happen considering the parents.
"Well," explained the farmer, "She was just a weeeee bit, not that you could
hardly tell, pregnant when you met her."
By Steve
A husband and wife are in bed watching "Who Wants to be a Millionaire".
The husband asks for sex.
The wife says, "No." >
Her husband asks,
"Is that your final answer?" >
She responds, "Yes."
He says,
"Then, I'd like to call a friend."
By Harry B
You Will Hate Fridays
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is
wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
Satan: Why so glum?
Guy: What do you think? I'm in hell!
Satan: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here.
Are you a drinking man?
Guy: Sure, I love to drink.
Satan: Well you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays that's all
we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, diet tab and colas.
We drink till we throw up and then we drink some more! And we don't
worry about getting a hangover because you're dead anyway.
Guy: Gee, that sounds great!
Satan: You a smoker?
Guy: You better believe it!
Satan: All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays. We get the finest cigars
from all over the world and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer
no biggie, you're already dead, remember?
Guy: Wow... that's awesome!
Satan: I bet you like to gamble.
Guy: Why yes, as a matter of fact I do.
Satan: Cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps, Blackjack,
Roulette, Poker, Slots. If you go bankrupt... you're dead anyhow.
Do you do drugs??
Guy: Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...
Satan: That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big bowl
of crack, or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine.
You can do all the drugs you want, you're dead, who cares.
Guy: WOW! I never realized Hell was such a cool place!
Satan: You gay?
Guy: No...
Satan: Ooooh You're gonna hate Fridays.
By Bandi On Yahoo board
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