BEST GREAT JOKE 02 jokes on day pun in urdu bangla dirty laffy taffy kid hitler best yo mama knock knock adult in hindi cid cat clean pirate mexican thanksgiving sms giftswhat do you call jokes tamil birthday christian funny in english boob punny and fart jokes
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find
that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the
lights because they can't see each other using sign language. After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife
decides to find a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some
simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me,
reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have
sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks
this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea, Now if you
want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time. If you
don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"
By Sopho
Two midgets
Two midgets go into a bar, where they pick up two prostitutes and take them
to their separate hotel rooms. The first midget, however, is unable to get
an erection. His depression is enhanced by the fact that, from the next
room, he hears cries of, "ONE, TWO, THREE...UUH!" all night long. In the
morning, the second midget asks the first, "How did it go?" The first
whispered back, "It was so embarrassing. I simply couldn't get a hard-on."
The second midget shook his head. "You think that's embarrassing?" he asked.
"I couldn't even get on the fucking bed"
By Tom P
UNCLE FRANK
Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner.
"Hello?" said a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Bob. "Is mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs,
knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car
just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did
what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming,
then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's
all dead."
"Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he
jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot
that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom
of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too."
There was a long pause, then Bob said, "Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"
By Irene
Bob called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner.
"Hello?" said a little girl's voice.
"Hi, honey, it's Daddy," said Bob. "Is mommy near the phone?"
"No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank."
After a brief pause, Bob said, "But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!"
"Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!"
"Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs,
knock on the bedroom door and shout in to Mommy and Uncle Frank that my car
just pulled up outside the house."
"Okay, Daddy!"
A few minutes later, the little girl came back to the phone. "Well, I did
what you said, Daddy."
"And what happened?"
"Well, Mommy jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming,
then she tripped over the rug and went out the front window and now she's
all dead."
"Oh my god! What about Uncle Frank?"
"He jumped out of bed with no clothes on too and he was all scared and he
jumped out the back window into the swimming pool, but he must have forgot
that you took out all the water last week to clean it, so he hit the bottom
of the swimming pool, and now he's dead too."
There was a long pause, then Bob said, "Swimming pool? Is this 555-7039?"
By Irene
VASELINE
A market researcher called at a house and his knock
was answered by a young woman with three small
children running around her. He asked her if she minded
replying to his questions and she agreed.
He asked her if she knew his company,Cheeseborough-Ponds.
When she said no, he mentioned that among their many products was
Vaseline and she certainly knew of that product. When asked if
she used it, the answer was "Yes." Asked how she used it,
she said, "To assist sexual intercourse." The interviewer
was amazed. He said, "I always ask that question because
everyone uses our product and they always say they use
it for the child's bicycle chain, or the gate hinge; but
I know that most use it for sexual intercourse. Since you've
been so frank, could you tell me exactly how you use
it?"
"Yes, we put it on the doorknob to keep the kids out."
By Tom P
Walter Smith
A woman checked in at the pearly gates and asked to join her former husband,
Walter Smith. Saint Peter said, "We have five million Walter Smiths. Give us a
little clue."
The woman said, "My Walter is bald and has blue eyes, and he said that if I ever
slept with another man he'd turn over in his grave."
Saint Peter motioned an angel forward. "Take her to Turning Walter!"
By Steve
- jokes on day pun in urdu bangla dirty laffy taffy kid hitler best yo mama knock knock adult in hindi cid cat clean pirate mexican thanksgiving sms giftswhat do you call jokes tamil birthday christian funny in english boob punny and fart jokes